Eren Goes To Maria Gakuen
by TheLunarSquad
Summary: Eren is the new kid at school. There he meets Levi, the cold yet handsome loner. Can Eren enter the heart of this cut-off individual? Or will he be rejected? Read to find out! ERERI HIGHSCHOOL AU


Eren was super shy. Everyome always told hi, he looked like an uke but he was determuned to become a seme. He wanted to chqmge but he saw levi, the overpowerful seme and was super distraught. He nyoomed away.

eren locked himself in his room like the hormonal teenager he was and mikasa tried to get in "EREN YOU DUMBASS GET OUT HERE. YOUR ACTING LIKE A ANGSTY TEEN!" Eren was super mad at mikasa , she wasn't the boss of him.

eren activated his merwolf powers and became a sea unicorn. He numpdd into the big wide river styx and cried tears of blood. "WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR. MY KOKORO IS BROKEN" but then he remmebered the suave and debonair levi and he was brought back to life

he went back to school and stole mikasa nose, he then threw it into the abyss and found levi. Levi looked at the shounen and was al like "omae wa shounen. Ore wa suki kimi."

eren was s impressed with his A+ weeb lamguage and grabbed levis face with his expanded yaoi hands. He nuzzled him with such prowess. levi desu blushed...but refused to be out-semed. levi's hands expanded endlessly, engulfing eren's body like a protist performing phagocytosis. the outlines of his body became stiff and horribly drawn and his color scheme became 413% more tacky as his chin became an upside down illumati symbol . the yaois are consuming our government

erens body span like a beyblade and he and levi twirled around sakura (lol me) swirled around them. It was magical. They span away like a helicopter and landed on the hercules corona borealis great wall. They gazed into eachothers thickly lashed eyes, so many sparkles whirled around them

levis voice was husky and fierce "mmmmmm eren, you have penetrated my cold kokoro" eren didn't blush cause that would br cliché. Instead he ripped off levis clothing and threw him off the wall. Levi fell like humpty dumpty. A slow version kinda like a lullaby of humpty dumpty played in the background

hupty dumpty sat on wall maria

humpty dumpty had a great fall

all the kingsamas forces

and all the kingsamas shounens

uldnt put levi together again

so they usrd crackle glue and it was all wakatta

levi had a big scar on his glutteus maximus that was fused with super glue. Eren found it super attractive "im so sorry I pushed you off the wall, atashi wa suki omae wa. Ussendayo."

lwvi didn't knowwhat it meant but it sounded super romantic. He decided he wanted eren kokoro so he ripped eren apart and grabbed it. He ran into the sunset with erens kokoro. Eren grabbed the super glur and pastred himself back together. He still loved levi though. But levi had left a gaping holr in his kokoro

levi ended up on the moon where he found lots of irony deposits. But he decided to leave it (haha reference to my own sotry. Ya know how kanda kun and allen chan ate iron on the moon lol signal boost for big bang XD)

soon eren and levi got tired of watching several pairs of men having homosexual intercourse on the tsuki so they took their SE 313B Alouette II and landed perfectly into the basement of their gakuen by using the open skylights. levi was pro at helicoptering. the futari pranced upstars into class, grasping eachothers yaoi hands tighly as fujoshis (and a few fundanshis) emptied the entire capacities of their circulatory systems out throguh their gaping nostrils. "YUOU 2 ARE TOTES MY OTP" exclamed one girl as she died slowly.

anyways, as the pair stepped gracefully through the pools of crimsen theire gay coupl,e bonding time was interrupted byu mikasa, erens volleyball. "eren 你小笨蛋 wehere have yo ubeen i was SO worried!！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！are you dijoubu?"eren being a teenager was all like " GAWDS MI CASA. UR NOT MY OKAASAN,!" eren rolled his shimmering emrald optics because he was in his rebellious teenager phase. he had past hsi angsty teenager phase whene they were on the tsuki, i wonder what will come next.

mikasa "ched" like kanda from d gray man (#fav) and turned around to pin levi with her nonexistent oculi sinister and dxexters. "and YOU.. .吃屎，你たわごとクソがらくたASSING fucknutは、自分自身をファック行くあなた同性愛memer, 你怎么敢让EREN （那个愚蠢的荷尔蒙蛋）待在月亮上？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？?？？？？？？？？？？？？？?？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？?？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？?？？" levi had no idea what she jsut said but it sure sounded lik e she was questioning his sexuality "no homo" levi said. clearly, levi was a manly man who was very secure with his sexual identity

eren stared at him with luscious evergreen orbs because that made no sense. mikasa sighed and flipped her firery vermilion red scarf sassily "head to class boys, your .1011 seconds LATE!" she rolled off into the sunset

levi slamed open the door to year 3 class c-14 and nyoomed to his desk between the cabinet and that one pink haired chick chiyoko kubozono fast as sanic x, his hand firmly attached ot erens yaoir appendages the whole time.

lavi plopped himself down in the chairand eren straddled him. Levi ate erens heart it tasted like chicken strips. Yum. Eren was super mad and defenestrated himself. Levi didn't eve notice cause the classroom was so durdy. He had to clean the room. Incessant cleaning hormones came to him like a tsunder storm. He started to wipe of his desk with sanitizing wipes. He rubbed his face on the clean desk "oh desk-sama"levi kissed the desk with much fevor. He had fallen in love.

Levi and desk-sama were so in love together that theyu decided to elope to the tsuki, However, the tsuki was already occupide by at least 3 pairs of homoesexual men still having intercourse, so levi and desk sama saniced all the way to mercury i n the re helicopter, where they suffocated slowly and etrnally in the thin atmosphere, floating all hte while because of mercurys relatively low level of gravity in comparison to the earth .

levi decided that he like being madly in ai with the great desk sama, because desk had smooth, polishjed mahogany panels that beckoned endlessly, and also no one could question his sexuality anymroe because dessks n=dont have genders and also they were on mercury and there are no people on mercury. No homo

THE END


End file.
